If Only
by Edele Lane
Summary: SD6 is gone and Sydney and Will have become a couple. Can one fight change everything? SW, SV 'Up Against the Wall' is up. Please readreview, as this is the last chapter.
1. Prologue: It's Over

**Author:** Edele Lane  
**E-mail:** Edyn04@aol.com  
**Rating:** PG-13/R (possibly)  
**Disclaimer:** Everything "Alias"-related does not belong to me. It belongs to J.J. Abrams and probably 900 other people associated with him.  
**Archive:** Nowhere yet, but if you want it, take it and then e-mail me so I'll know.  
**Feedback:** Please;x  
**Summary:** (Title is tentative) SD-6 is gone and Sydney and Will have become a couple. Can one fight change everything? (S/W, S/V)  
**Dedication:** This is for Ash who reads each part before it is posted here and is undoubtedly my best (and favorite) critic.  
  
  
  


**Prologue: It's Over  
  
  
**  


**Summer 2004  
**  
  
Will Tippin sat on the couch in his house, jotting down some notes for an article he was writing. After two years and quite a lot of begging on Will's part, he was hired back.  
  
He finished the last notation he wanted to make and tossed the pad and pen onto the coffee table. He leaned back against the couch and wondered how his friend, Sydney Bristow, was doing.  
  
She had told him that today was the day they would officially take down SD-6. He couldn't have been happier. The event was going to be highly publicized and—even though the newspaper had already hired him back—the event would be solid proof that his articles about SD-6 were not fabrications.  
  
The CIA had contacted him and said that when the takedown was officially complete, his boss would probably have questions. He was instructed to say that he had gotten so close to busting SD-6 open that one if its employees threatened to kill him and forced him to use a heroin addiction as the reason for the articles (the CIA couldn't afford any bad press, and besides, SD-6 would be gone, the employees would be gone, so who cares?).  
  
Will looked at his watch. Sydney assured him that she would swing by to let him know how things went. The doorbell rang. Will had been expecting her, but the sudden chime still made him jump. He got up quickly from the couch and went to the door.  
  
He opened the door to find a positively giddy, dimpled-cheek Sydney practically jumping up and down from excitement.  
  
We did it, she said happily, wiping away a few tears of joy.  
  
Will said nothing, but grinned and wrapped her up in a hug. After a few moments, Sydney pulled back and took Will's face in her hands as she planted a kiss on his lips.  
  
Utterly shocked, Will laughed nervously. What was that?  
  
Something I should have done years ago, Sydney said with a small smile. 


	2. Fighting

**Fighting  
  
  
**  


**One Year Later  
  
**A year had passed and Will and Sydney were still going strong. After the takedown, Sydney had remained friends with her former handler, Michael Vaughn. Almost immediately after the takedown, Sydney marched into the CIA and resigned. She continued at grad school and eventually fulfilled her dream of becoming a teacher.  
  
A few months into the relationship, Sydney had moved in with Will. Since Sydney had to work long hours and was constantly grading papers and the like, Will figured that if she moved in, they would get to see more of each other. Sydney readily agreed as she was eager to take the relationship to the next level. Will had also bought a ring which he planned to give to her later, when the time was right. He kept it hidden in a box in the attic.  
  
When Sydney wasn't teaching or spending time with Will, she was spending time with Francie or Michael, but more often than not, she was with Michael. The friendship between the two was excellent, and sometimes Sydney would come home happier than ever from just visiting him.  
  
Will, naturally, was a little jealous. He rarely got to see Sydney anyway because of her long hours, and when there was time, it always seemed to him that she was spending it with Michael. He was sure that Sydney loved him as much as he loved her, but he truly wished she would spend more time with him and less with her friends.  
  
One night, when Sydney had gotten home a little late, Will decided to—once again—raise the issue of her and Michael.  
  
Sydney said cheerfully as she walked into the house. She went up to Will to give him a kiss. He didn't kiss her back. What's the matter? Sydney asked, worried.  
  
Will frowned slightly. We need to talk. He took a seat on the couch and Sydney followed suit.  
  
What's up, hon? she asked, pecking him on the cheek.  
  
About you and Michael— Will began.  
  
Sydney interrupted, shaking her head. We've _had_ this conversation. There is _nothing_ going on between Michael and I.  
  
Will sighed. His deep blue eyes showed he was unhappy. Look, it just seems that whenever you get a free minute, you're over there with him. I mean, _I_ rarely get to see you and we live in the same damn house!  
  
Sydney said softly. I'm sorry. Maybe I've been spending too much time with him lately. But I swear to you, there is _nothing_ going on between us. I love you.  
  
Will looked into Sydney's soft brown eyes. He frowned and stood up. I'm not convinced.  
  
Sydney remained seated and wiped away a tear. Being stubborn, she wasn't too fond of admitting when someone else was right. But Will was right: she _had_ been spending too much time with Michael.  
  
Will paced. he continued, whenever you come home after being over there with him, you always seem so happy.  
  
Sydney looked at her feet.  
  
It's almost as if he makes you happier than I do! Will said angrily.  
  
Goddamn it, Will, you know that's not true! Sydney cried, standing up.  
  
How do I know it's not true? You're never here! The only thing I have to go on is how happy you are when you walk in here from being with him! Will rubbed his temples and sighed heavily.  
  
What do you want me to do, Will? Huh? What can I do to prove that I love you and that there's nothing happening with Michael? Sydney wiped away a few angry tears.  
  
  
_Do you know what I think about all these nights  
When I can't sleep, sleep at all  
Slowly I close my eyes  
My thoughts they fly away  
to you no matter what I do  
_  
  
Will's blue eyes softened. I don't know, he said quietly. I really don't know.  
  
Sydney swallowed hard. What if we break up? she suggested after a few moments of silence.  
  
  
_I wish I could turn back time  
Back to the time when you were mine I wish  
I wish the day, the way you went away  
never happened baby  
I wish the stars, the stars in heaven would  
come down to me  
So I could give them to you  
Tell me then would you be lovin' me like I wish  
  
_  
Break up? Will asked, narrowing his eyes.   
  
Well, you're not convinced that I love you, so why continue this? a frustrated Sydney asked, throwing her hands up.  
  
Will moved closer to her and wiped a few tears off her cheek. Sydney, I don't want to break up with you. I love you so much. It would just be nice if you showed it once in a while, instead of constantly spending time with someone else.  
  
Sydney looked down for a moment. Do you want me to spend less time with my friends?  
  
Will nodded. I'd like it if you did. It would be nice if you were just casual friends, you know? You call them up, say hello, and visit once in a while, or something. What's wrong with that?  
  
Sydney said quietly.  
  
Will sighed in disgust and backed away from her. So do you really want to break up for a little while? See if absence really _does_ make the heart grow fonder? He felt a small tear form in the corner of his eye. He was about to lose the woman he loved—maybe forever.  
  
Sydney bit her lip and wiped away a few more tears. She sighed and nodded slowly. She couldn't believe she was about to lose him. She loved him so much, but she wasn't sure how to prove it to him.  
  
  
_It's so hard when you love someone this much  
But you just don't know how,  
how to love him the right way  
_  
  
All right, Will said quietly, nodding.  
  
  
_If you could see what you've done to me  
What you've done to my heart,  
what you've done to my soul my baby  
All of my mind and all of my body  
then you should know  
Why I can't let go and baby I  
  
  
_Sydney stepped forward and hugged Will. Awkwardly, Will hugged her back.  
  
  
_I wish the day, the way you went away  
never happened baby  
I wish the stars, the stars in heaven would  
come down to me  
So I could give them to you  
Tell me then would you be lovin' me like I wish  
  
  
_ Sydney went and packed her things, then left.  
  
_  
I don't know what you want me to do  
To prove my love is real for you  
I don't know what you want me to say baby  
There is no if's or maybe's  
All I want is you cause baby you are my only wish  
  
  
  
  
_**Note:** The song is an a cappella called I Wish, and is written and performed by a Swedish singer named Robyn [I'm sure some of you have heard of her. She had three—I believe—singles released in the United States. If anyone cares, they were Do You Know (What it Takes), Show Me Love, and Do You Really Want Me (Show Respect). And everyone (or some of you) go Oh yeah... Heh.]. 


	3. The Beach

**The Beach  
  
  
**  


Sydney was so upset, she could hardly contain herself. She had broken up (something she wanted to avoid at all costs) with the man she loved. She couldn't believe she had even _suggested_ it.  
  
She drove to the closest beach and got out of the car. She took a blanket from one of her bags and wrapped it around her shoulders as she walked over to sit on the sand. She kicked off her shoes and walked down close to the water. She stood for a moment, looking for a partially dry spot where she could sit and still have the waves gently lap at her feet.  
  
It didn't take her long, and after a couple of minutes, she was comfortably seated on the sand, the blanket wrapped tightly around her, helping to control her shivers. A voice inside her head told her that the shivers weren't necessarily coming from the cold night air or the cold water.  
  
She sighed. A small wave crashed on the shore and rolled towards her bare feet. There was something strangely comforting about the waves lapping at her feet. Even though the water was cold, it only took brief contact several times for her feet to numb.  
  
She sighed deeply and thought of the mistakes she had made. The first being breaking up with Will, the second being spending way too much time with Michael. True, they were friends—good friends—but there _was_ such a thing as spending too much time together. Will was completely right: she had been ignoring him when she had time off, taking their relationship for granted. And now she regretted it. She considered calling Will, but decided that maybe it was too soon. She figured it might be better to wait a little while and see if both of them realized the break-up was stupid and that they still loved each other.  
  
Sydney also decided that if and when they got back together that she would spend less time with Michael. The casual friends idea suggested by Will was actually fine. She could be with Will and still be friends with Michael. The thought was comforting and she smiled a little.  
  
She leaned back on the sand and laid the blanket over the length of her body. The waves continued to brush against her feet. She folded her arms behind her head and stared up at the sky. She wished Will was there with her. It was such a beautiful night. She sighed and let the tears roll freely down her cheeks.  
  
Without thinking, she began to hum Truly Madly Deeply. She continued to stare up at the cerulean sky and at the small, twinkling stars. Her eyes were glassy from the tears and the ends of the stars seemed go past her field of vision. She blinked and wiped the tears away.  
  
She sat up and returned the blanket to its previous spot around her shoulders. She stared at the horizon and squinted to see a small boat in the distance. She wondered what it would be like to do that. Just grab a small boat and sail out as far as possible and relax, without a care in the world.  
  
_And with Will_, a voice inside her head told her.  
  
She nodded in agreement as if the voice was in fact a real person and she could communicate with it. She stood up and walked back to her car, leaving her shoes in the sand. She dug through the bags of her stuff and found a bikini, a one-piece, and a towel. Since it was cold, she decided the one-piece was a better choice. _The more rayon, the better_, she thought to herself. She changed quickly and headed back down to the beach with both the towel and blanket in tow.  
  
She tossed the blanket and towel down next to her shoes and made her way to the water. _I wonder how many people would think I was nuts for swimming in the Pacific Ocean at night_. She managed a giggle and dove in. She swam about fifteen feet away from the shore then turned and swam sideways along the length of the beach.  
  
Sydney wasn't sure how long she had been swimming before she started growing tired, but once she had, she turned and swam for the shore. Upon reaching it, she got out of the water and walked along the sand to get back to her towel and blanket.  
  
She exhaled sharply upon reaching her destination and snatched up her towel. She dried herself off and and slipped her shoes back on, then wrapped the towel around herself. She folded the blanket and tucked it under her arm as she walked back to the car.  
  
After stuffing the blanket back into one of the bags, she grabbed the clothes she had worn before she changed into the swimsuit and quickly dressed. She used the towel to dry her hair and hopped into the car. She decided she had waited long enough and that it was time to reconcile with Will. She swallowed hard and drove back to his house.  
_  
  
  
  
_**Note:** Truly Madly Deeply is a song written and performed by Savage Garden. 


	4. A Broken Heart

**A Broken Heart  
  
  
**  


When Sydney had reached Will's house, she was in the best of spirits. The time she spent at the beach had really helped her understand what was important to her.  
  
She still had the duplicated key and when she got to the door, she let herself in. Hey Will, she called. She closed the door and looked around.   
  
In his bedroom, Will stirred. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and realized he was naked. He sat up and was almost horrified at what he saw—someone was lying naked next to him. he said slowly, again rubbing the sleep out of his eyes trying to remember what happened. Then it dawned on him: he and Sydney had broken up and he had called Jenny—of all people—and asked her to come over.  
  
Before long, they had gotten drunk off of a couple bottles of champagne Will had bought. Will looked over and saw the ring on his bedside table. He had retrieved it from the attic after Sydney left and intended to chase after her and propose. But he had nixed that thought and called Jenny instead. He angrily pounded his forehead with his palm causing Jenny to wake up.  
  
Jenny sat up. she said, as if repeating what Will had said.  
  
Uh huh, Will agreed. I can't believe I did this, he blurted as Sydney walked into the room.  
  
Jesus Christ, Sydney said angrily. I came back to—to— She backed up against a wall then ran from the room sobbing.  
  
Will cried, leaping out of bed and tugging on his boxers.   
  
Sydney was at the front door when Will got to her. She started to open it but Will put a hand on it. Sydney's brown eyes glistened with tears. I came back to work things out, she said softly.  
  
Sydney, I'm so sorry, Will said quickly. I don't know what happened. I went up to the attic to— He stopped himself. I don't know what happened, he repeated. I called Jenny—don't ask me why because I have _no_ idea—and she came over and she took out the champagne and we started to drink.  
  
Sydney stared at him, waiting for him to create a logical argument out of his story.  
  
Will sighed heavily. I—we just got drunk and went to bed. I never intended for any of this to happen. I just wanted someone to talk to about this. He looked deep into her eyes trying to tell if she believed him. He was telling the truth—he _had_ only intended for Jenny to come over and talk but somehow she had convinced him to drink and things went from bad to worse.  
  
What was in the attic? Sydney asked calmly.  
  
Will sighed again. He had definitely intended to propose but this was not the way he wanted to do it. Nothing important, he said, avoiding her gaze.  
  
Sydney nodded slightly and reached for the door handle. Will backed off so she could open the door.  
  
Do you think you could give me another chance? Will asked quietly.  
  
Sydney looked deep into his blue eyes and saw that he probably really _did_ regret what happened. But she wasn't sure yet if she could forgive him. She reached up a hand to his cheek and ran her fingers over his permanent stubble of a beard. She let her hand drop and walked out the door. She turned around to look at him. He seemed like an absolute wreck without her. Part of her wanted to go back and throw her arms around his neck and say that she wanted to forgive him and start over. But another part said that she needed to wait. Think things over. Then maybe try the relationship again. I don't know, she finally replied.  
  
Will squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and reopened them. His eyes were glassy because he had started to tear up involuntarily. He had seriously screwed things up and he would probably never have a chance to correct what he had done. He nodded slightly and watched as Sydney walked back to her car.  
  
Once Sydney had driven away, he slammed the door as hard as he could causing the pictures on the wall to tilt and sway.  
  
He stormed back into his bedroom and angrily threw Jenny's clothes at her. _Get out_, he growled.  
  
Will, what's going on? Jenny asked, gathering up the clothes and starting to get dressed.  
  
Just _leave_, Will ordered, ignoring her question.  
  
Jenny shrugged. She got dressed. I don't know why you're so mad, she said as she headed out of the room. This was all your idea. She walked to the front door.  
  
Will fumed and followed her. _My_ idea? he spat.  
  
Jenny told him.  
  
Will clenched his teeth. No, see, _my_ idea was to have you come over, talk for a while, then have you leave. It was _you_ who suggested that we drink and it was _you_ who had one glass and convinced _me_ to finish that bottle and then drink the other one.  
  
You're saying this is all _my_ fault? Jenny asked angrily.  
  
In a way, yes, Will said. And I know for _certain_ that it wasn't my idea to have sex with you.  
  
We _didn't_ have sex.  
  
Will's mouth dropped open. What do you mean?  
  
We were going to and then you passed out, Jenny told him, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
Are you sure? Will asked curiously.  
  
Of course I'm sure, Jenny insisted. Besides, I wouldn't do that.  
  
Will felt a smile tug at his lips. So nothing happened?  
  
Absolutely nothing. We got naked, made out for a little bit, then you passed out.  
  
So we did make out though, Will clarified, feeling guilty, but at least not as guilty as he had been a few minutes before.  
  
Yeah, but not that much, Jenny explained.  
  
Will tugged on the rest of his clothes and hugged Jenny as he made his way to the nearest phone.   
  
Don't mention it, Jenny said with a fake smile. I'll be going now.  
  
See you, Will called after her as he dialed Michael's number. 


	5. Just Friends

**Just Friends  
  
  
**  


Sydney had driven over to Michael's apartment and was sitting on his couch crying into his shoulder. She had told him everything and he had listened, muttering a few curses under his breath about Will.  
  
At one point during the conversation, he had turned Sydney's face towards him and given her a kiss. Sydney returned it reluctantly then pulled away after a moment. I'm not sure I can do this, she said, standing up and beginning to pace.  
  
Michael stood up and laid a hand on her shoulder. I think you can. He ran a hand through her hair then took her face in his hands and kissed her once again. This time, there wasn't a shadow of a doubt in Sydney's mind and she wrapped her arms around Michael's neck.  
  
The phone rang. I'll get it, Michael whispered softly in Sydney's ear.  
  
Sydney whispered back, sitting back down on the couch. As Michael went to answer the phone, Sydney thought about what she was doing. Her relationship with Will was seemingly dead and her friendship with Michael seemed to be turning into something more. She decided to go for it and think about rekindling the Will relationship later. After all, she had gone to reconcile with him and she had found him in bed with someone else. It was true that they had broken up, but to sleep with someone only an hour after was disgusting.  
  
Michael answered the phone in the kitchen.   
  
Michael, it's Will—Will Tippin. Is Sydney there? I really need to talk to her. It's absolutely imperative that I talk to her.  
  
Sydney was so lost in thought that she missed Michael's reply of No, she's not here.  
  
Michael hung up the phone and went back to the couch. He plopped down beside Sydney and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He kissed her cheek.  
  
Who was that? Sydney asked, smiling from the kiss.  
  
Wrong number, he lied.  
  
Sydney said sadly. She folded her hands in her lap and turned away from Michael to focus her attention on the curtains hiding the front window.  
  
Michael swallowed. Were you— he cleared his throat, —were you expecting someone to call?  
  
No, not really, Sydney said softly, shaking her head.  
  
Michael smoothed Sydney's hair. You were thinking Will might call.  
  
I guess, Sydney said. I miss him.  
  
The asshole _cheated_ on you, Michael reminded her.  
  
Technically he didn't cheat on me, he just slept with someone too soon after our break-up. It's different, Sydney explained.  
  
Sydney, this is pathetic. He broke up with you and then he goes and sleeps with some an hour after like it's no big deal. Is this someone you want to spend your life with?  
  
_I_ broke up with him. It was my idea, Sydney told him. She thought about what Will had said about the attic and wondered for a brief moment what he was hiding in it.  
  
Michael sighed. Do you love him?  
  
Sydney narrowed her eyes at him. Of course I love him, what kind of a question is that?  
  
I don't know, Michael admitted. But do you think you could move on? And maybe try something with us? We've been—just friends—for quite a while now.  
  
Sydney said with a small smile playing on her lips.  
  
Michael kissed her and carefully started to undress her. Sydney stood up quickly, her shirt half unbuttoned.  
  
This is too soon, she said. Developing a relationship is one thing, but if I have sex with you now, I'll just be doing the same thing Will did to me. I'm sorry, but I can't.  
  
Okay—you're right, Michael agreed, patting the couch cushion so she'd sit back down.  
  
Sydney sat down again and rebuttoned her shirt. Michael took her hand in his and they sat in silence.  
  
What do you want to talk about? Michael asked gently.  
  
Sydney shrugged.  
  
Can I tell you something? Michael asked, massaging Sydney's hand.  
  
Sydney said, avoiding his gaze.  
  
I think I might be falling in love with you.  
  
Sydney snapped her head back to look at Michael, who focused his green eyes on her brown ones.  
  
Do you?  
  
Michael stood up suddenly. You mean you have no idea?  
  
Ab—about you—falling in love—with me? Sydney sputtered.  
  
Michael replied.  
  
Sydney was silent for a moment. She never realized that he actually _loved_ her. She had always viewed his behavior as either that of a good handler or of an obsessed one. The word had never crossed her mind and didn't seem to fit. She shook her head slightly, still in shock.  
  
Sighing, Michael sat down again. So you honestly had no idea—until now? he asked in disbelief.  
  
No. No, I didn't, she said quietly. How long has this been going on?  
  
Since the day I met you, Michael admitted bluntly.  
  
Sydney's eyes widened. How come you never said anything?  
  
Michael frowned slightly.   
  
Fuck the rules. That can't be the only reason, Sydney said, growing frustrated.  
  
Well it was, Michael insisted.  
  
Can't be, Sydney argued.  
  
Michael sighed. Okay. I guess I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way—  
  
_You got that right_, Sydney interrupted silently.  
  
—And that it would wreck our friendship and relationship as handler and agent. Do you think things have hanged now, maybe? he asked suddenly, catching Sydney off-guard.  
  
Sydney tried to think. Her heart still ached over Will and she wasn't certain that conjuring up some feelings for Michael would help her move past. I'm not sure, she decided.  
  
Michael said, nodding. But—do you think we could—rewind a little? With the last kiss we had? And maybe—see what happens?  
  
Sydney shivered involuntarily. Maybe there _was_ something that could be developed into a relationship. She sighed and decided to try. Whatever happened...  
  
So be it. 


	6. Note

**Note  
  
  
**  


On the Couch, the next chapter in the story, is rated NC-17. The whole chapter is smut. I'm not going to post it here because I risk having the story removed. Alternatively, you can go here (http://members.aol.com:/edyn04/onthecouch.html) to read it. _Please_ don't skip this chapter and go straight to The Morning After just because you don't feel like copying and pasting and having another window open, yadayada. Trust me, there are some important bits amid all the smuttiness, so please read it. 


	7. The Morning After

**The Morning After  
  
  
**  


Sydney awoke the next morning to find her eyes crusty from when she had apparently cried in her sleep. She bit her lip and swallowed hard.  
  
_God I feel sick.  
_  
She thought about the previous night: her incredibly stupid decision to break up with Will, the man she loved with all her heart; going back to find him in bed with _Jenny_ of all people; and going over to Michael's place. She swallowed again.  
  
_I can't believe I fucked him.  
_  
She rolled over onto her back and covered her face with her hands.  
  
_Jesus I'm so _fucking_ stupid.  
_  
Her ears perked up. Michael must have been in the kitchen because she suddenly heard pots and pans clattering. He poked his head out from the kitchen. He noticed Sydney sitting up with the blanket draped over her. He sighed and gave her an apologetic smile. I woke you up.  
  
she said with a grin.  
  
Michael said with the same smile. I was going to make breakfast, he explained. I don't cook much.  
  
I noticed, Sydney said, grinning more. She looked away for a moment as if pondering something.  
  
You okay?  
  
It's Thursday, isn't it? Sydney asked.  
  
Michael confirmed.  
  
Sydney said, nodding.  
  
Something special about today? Michael asked, his eyebrows slightly raised.  
  
_Only that it would be my one year anniversary with Will.  
_  
Sydney told him, avoiding his gaze. She glanced at him for a second. It's just that I don't have any classes today.  
  
Oh yeah, that's right. Thursday's your day off. I almost forgot, Michael said with a laugh.  
  
Sydney managed a weak smile and Michael disappeared back into the kitchen. She gathered up her clothes and got dressed quickly. She wandered into the kitchen and peered over Michael's shoulder at the frying pan on the stove.  
  
What are you making?  
  
  
Will woke up with a horrible hangover. He looked at the time and saw that he was late for work. He sighed heavily and tugged on some clothes.  
  
Half an hour later, he was sitting at his desk staring at the computer screen. He was desperately trying to figure out what to write for his next article, but that wasn't all that was bothering him.  
  
He picked up a pencil and began tapping it on the desk, keeping a beat. Finally he flung down the pencil in frustration and angrily pounded his fist on the desk just as his co-worker and friend Abby walked by.  
  
In her thick British accent she asked, What seems to be the problem, Will?  
  
Will sighed. _The problem? I'll tell you the problem. I broke up with the love of my life then she caught me in bed with another woman when she came back to work things out._ he told her, shaking his head. Just this article.  
  
Abby nodded. You and Sydney broke up, didn't you? she asked, as if seeing right through him.  
  
Will nodded and leaned back in the chair to rest his feet on the desk.  
  
Go get her back, Abby stated simply.  
  
Will laughed sarcastically. It's more complicated than that.  
  
I doubt it.  
  
A pause.  
  
Maybe it's not, Will agreed with a shrug.  
  
Abby began, what are you waiting for?  
  
Will smiled a little and stood up suddenly. He went over to Abby and gave her a quick hug.   
  
Of _course_, Abby replied, playfully rolling her eyes.  
  
Will smiled again and headed for his car. 


	8. Breakfast and the Pacific Ocean

**Breakfast and the Pacific Ocean  
  
  
**  


Michael said softly as they were finishing up their eggs and bacon.  
  
Sydney mumbled with her mouth full.  
  
Listen, um, last night—was _incredible_—and um—  
  
_Heh._ Sydney swallowed. She was desperately attempting to make something good come out of this situation.  
  
—I just want to be sure that this is going somewhere, Michael continued. That this wasn't—  
  
—Just a fuck, Sydney finished.  
  
_I hope so, too.  
_  
Don't worry, she assured him. I mean frankly, I have more respect for myself than that. Trust me. I didn't do this just to do it nor did I do it to get back at Will. I think something could happen here. She said the last sentence quietly, almost hoping he hadn't heard it. She _did_ want to try something, but she thought things were moving way too fast. It was going to take her quite some time to get over Will.  
  
_God I still love him so much.  
_  
Sydney cleared her throat and swiftly picked up her glass to chug her milk.  
Michael nodded slightly. So you _do_ see this developing into something? I don't want to waste my time here if you don't feel the same way about me as I do about you.  
  
Sydney swallowed hard. It was true that she didn't really feel the same way, but she did like him as a friend. She figured it might be possible to take their friendship to another level. She had been able to make it work with Will (for a while at least), so maybe...  
  
_Will.  
_  
Sydney sighed heavily. She still loved Will a great deal. She was so sure that he was the one.  
  
_Maybe he is.  
_  
She ran a hand through her hair nervously and shook her head involuntarily as if trying to erase the thoughts from her mind. There was a major jolt—  
  
_Compunction.  
_  
—In her stomach as she took Michael's hand.  
  
he said suddenly, what do you say we go on our first grocery shopping trip as—  
  
—A couple. Another jolt in her stomach made her breath catch in her throat.  
  
_Damn guilt bullshit.  
_  
Michael smiled and squeezed Sydney's hand. Yeah, as a couple. He kissed her cheek.  
  
Can I take a shower first? I'm a little grimy from the seawater.  
  
Michael asked curiously. He scoffed. What did you do? Go swimming in the Pacific Ocean at midnight or something? He laughed a little.  
  
Sydney playfully punched him in the shoulder. I needed to relax. Water relaxes me. She stared ahead as she spoke, as if in thought. Something about it, you know? Especially the ocean and the waves. She gestured with her hand in a gentle wavelike motion. The way it flows. So peaceful and all.  
  
Michael nodded and smiled.  
  
You probably think I'm nuts, Sydney said, embarrassed. She shook her head and held her forehead in her palm.  
  
Michael told her. You're right—water _is_ relaxing.  
  
Sydney nodded. Will liked it too. If one of us was having a bad day, we'd drag the other down to the beach. Just—you know—sit in the sand, let the waves lap at our feet, wash our troubles away. Sydney felt her eyes begin to tear up. Michael noticed and moved his chair so he could wrap an arm around her shaking shoulders. I'm sorry, she said quietly.  
  
It's fine, Michael assured her. Besides, I'm here.  
  
Sydney mumbled through her tears.  
  
Michael stood and helped Sydney up. Come on, let's get you showered and changed. Then we'll shop. He kissed the top of her head.  
  
Sydney nodded and let Michael lead her to the bathroom. 


	9. Shopping

**Shopping  
  
  
**  


Will had decided to stop by the local grocery store to pick up a few things before heading to Michael's apartment to try and reason with Sydney.  
  
He ran his ATM card through the machine as the cashier finished ringing up his groceries. He looked to his left and saw Sydney and Michael come up behind him with a nearly full cart.  
  
Will's eyes locked onto Sydney's for several seconds as they remembered everything they had together.  
  
Michael interrupted the moment by slipping an arm around Sydney's waist. Will was certain he saw Sydney shudder at Michael's touch and for a brief instant considered punching his lights out. Instead, as the cashier handed him his receipt, he narrowed his eyes at Sydney and shook his head in disgust.  
  
Sydney bowed her head and quickly wiped away a tear. Michael squeezed her shoulder and she shuddered again. She looked up to see Will leave the store and inhaled sharply.  
  
A few minutes later, Sydney and Michael were walking out to the parking lot with Sydney in the lead, her arms crossed over her chest.  
  
Michael opened the trunk and began to put the bags inside. Sydney leaned against the car waiting for the sound of the trunk lid so she would know when he had finished.  
  
I think I'm going to walk for a while, Sydney announced, turning on her heel to walk away.  
  
It's two miles, Michael informed her.  
  
_Not to Will's.  
_  
It's fine, Sydney insisted as she continued to walk. I just need to clear my head.  
  
All right, said Michael as he opened the car door. See you later.  
  
Yeah right, Sydney muttered under her breath.  
  
A few minutes had passed and she was well on her way to Will's house. She knew she could be there sooner if she ran as it was less than a mile away, but she decided she needed to collect her thoughts. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat and walked with her head down towards Will's.  
  
She heard thunder overhead and decided to jog the rest of the way to try and beat the rain.  
  
She didn't.  
  
When she arrived at Will's front door, she was almost completely soaked. She knocked on the door and, after about a minute, Will opened it.  
  
We need to talk, she said quickly.  
  
Will frowned a little and leaned against the doorframe. I always did like the drowned rat' look.  
  
I'm serious, Sydney told him, her eyes widening. We really need to talk.  
  
Without saying a word, Will stepped back and Sydney came inside. He looked across the street before he closed the door. So uh, I take it Michael didn't come with you.  
  
N-no, he didn't. We got to the parking lot of the store and I told him I wanted to walk for a while, she explained.  
  
  
  
Sydney sighed heavily. Why did we break up?  
  
Will shrugged and shook his head. I honestly don't know.  
  
More importantly, Sydney continued, what convinced you to go call Jenny and then sleep with her less than an hour after we broke up?  
  
We didn't actually have sex, Will told her.  
  
Sydney arched an eyebrow. Then why did you say you did?  
  
I honestly thought we had. I mean, I had been drinking, and we evidently did something because I woke up in bed naked with her next to me. He sighed a little. Then you came in and all I could think about was trying to find an explanation so that maybe we could pick up where we left off and forget our pathetic reasoning for the break-up.  
  
So then— Sydney began. How did you find out?  
  
Jenny told me. I was so disgusted with myself and her that I threw her clothes at her and told her to get out. That was when she told me.  
  
Sydney bit her lip, you _were_ naked. That means you were planning on doing _something_...  
  
Jenny said that after I drank the champagne—she had a whopping _one_ glass, by the way—that we started making out, and then we undressed, and then I passed out, Will explained.  
  
Sydney crossed her arms over her chest and paced. Why didn't you tell me?  
  
I _tried_! Will insisted. I called Michael and he said you weren't there. I called after you left the second time because I assumed that since he was a friend and you guys had been spending a ton of time together anyway, that he'd be the first person you'd go see.  
  
Sydney started, when I was over there, the phone rang and he went to answer it, and when he came back he said it was a wrong number.  
  
Will scoffed. Well, either it _was_ a wrong number, or he was lying through his teeth because he wanted to be with you so badly.  
  
Sydney frowned a little, as if hurt that Will would say something that cruel.  
  
Frankly, I don't doubt the latter option, he told her.  
  
Sydney nodded and stared at the floor.  
  
So you were over there— Will began.  
  
Sydney's stomach lurched.  
  
_Oh God no I'm going to have to tell him.  
_  
—what did you do? Talk or something?  
  
Um, yeah, we talked. We talked a lot, Sydney said quickly, avoiding his eyes.  
  
But you guys didn't—I mean—you wouldn't have... Will trailed off, suddenly feeling nervous.  
  
Tears spilled out of Sydney's eyes.  
  
Jesus Christ, you _did_ then. Will paced. How could you do that? he asked angrily.  
  
Sydney inhaled sharply. Look, all right, _I_ came back here to reconcile with you and I found you in bed with someone else. For all I knew—and judging by what you _told_ me that night—you had already moved on. What the hell was I supposed to do? Just mope forever or wait until you apologized? I admit that it was stupid that I did it to get back at you, but my God, I honestly believed that our relationship was dead.  
  
I guess you're right, Will admitted. But I still can't get over that. I mean, you—in bed—with—_him_—of all people. The image—_argh_. Will paced, clearly disgusted with what Sydney had done. Was he good? he asked suddenly.  
  
Sydney asked, taken aback.  
  
Was he good? Will repeated.  
  
I-I-I couldn't even—er—_enjoy_ it because I was thinking about you and us, and our future—if there was any—and, I don't know, she said, shaking her head.  
  
Will asked, cocking his head to one side.  
  
Sydney nodded. She felt her eyes tearing up. I love you so much, she choked out. She put a hand to her face to wipe her eyes.  
  
Will stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Sydney. He held her tight and she rested her head on his shoulder. I love you too, he whispered. 


	10. Up Against the Wall

**Note:** There is a little smut, but not enough so that I would have to post this elsewhere. If you can't bear it...well then, you probably have a weak stomach.  


  
  
**Up Against the Wall  
  
  
**  


Sydney broke the hug and reached her hands up to Will's face to kiss him. Will returned the kiss graciously and slipped Sydney's coat off her shoulders. Sydney seemed a little surprised at first, but relaxed when she realized it was exactly what she wanted.  
  
I'll be right back, said Will, as he turned around. He came back a moment later with a condom.  
  
Sydney kissed him again and began to unbutton his shirt as he unbuttoned hers. They tossed the shirts on the floor and began undoing each other's pants. A couple of moments later and they were clad only in undergarments. Will began kissing Sydney's neck as he rested his hands on her hips to lead her backwards. Sydney reached behind her slightly, palms facing away from her as if to buffer the hit against the wall.  
  
She reached her hands up and wrapped her arms around Will's neck as they continued to kiss. Will reached behind Sydney's back and unhooked her bra. Sydney dropped her arms to remove it, then slid her fingers between Will's skin and the elastic of his boxers. She slowly stretched out the elastic and slipped off the shorts. Will went for her panties and carefully slid them off her hips and let them fall to the floor.  
  
Kicking the clothes out of the way, Sydney firmly placed her hands on Will's shoulders and jumped up. Will caught her. Sydney's legs found his waist and clung tightly. Her arms found his neck and she reached up a hand to run her fingers through his hair.  
  
Will made a few adjustments and the act officially commenced.  
  
  
Sydney cried out in delight as it came to an end a few minutes later. She unwrapped her legs and stood with her arms still around Will's neck.  
  
Both were breathless, and they stood, foreheads touching, breathing heavily. Sydney ran her hands through Will's hair as he tenderly kissed her neck. She lifted his head up slightly and they looked far into each other's eyes. Their mouths met for a long kiss, then they gathered up their clothes.  
  
Will began, as he pulled on his jeans. Where do you stand on the whole Michael' issue?  
  
Sydney frowned at him as she dressed. It was pretty much a one-night stand that he wanted to develop into more.  
  
Will sighed. Well, at the store, he seemed like he was trying to make a statement, he persisted as he tugged on his shirt.  
  
How so? Sydney asked as she buttoned her blouse.  
  
He put his arm around your waist.  
  
Oh that, Sydney said quietly, pulling on her socks.  
  
Yes, Will said, almost annoyed.  
  
He was convinced we were officially together when we decided to go shopping, Sydney explained.  
  
You just said we' twice in that sentence, Will pointed out.  
  
Okay, okay. Since I thought our relationship was over, I sort of gave Michael the impression that I wanted to be more than friends. Sydney looked down at her feet.  
  
Will sighed and jammed his hands into his pockets. Do you want to?  
Sydney shook her head slowly.   
  
Will managed a smile and swept Sydney up in a hug. I love you, he whispered into her hair.  
  
I love you too, she whispered back.  
  
You know it's our anniversary... Will said, then trailed off.  
  
I know, Sydney replied.  
  
We didn't plan anything.  
  
  
  
We promised we wouldn't buy gifts.  
  
  
  
I'll be right back. Close your eyes until I tell you to open them. He kissed her cheek and she giggled. Back in a flash.  
  
Sydney said, squeezing her eyelids shut.  
  
Will went to his room and plucked the box with the ring inside from the nightstand. He sighed nervously, the smiled as he walked back out into the living room.  
  
Not yet, he told her as he kneeled down.  
  
After a moment, Sydney asked, giggling,   
  
Will said, as he opened the box towards her.  
  
Sydney gasped. Her hands flew to her face. Oh my God, she said quietly. she sniffed, —this is what you had in the attic isn't it?  
  
Will smiled.  
  
she said breathlessly.  
  
Will took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. he began, will you marry me?  
  
Sydney said through her tears.  
  
Will took the ring from the box and slipped it onto Sydney's ring finger. He stood up and they embraced.  
  
he began, Happy Anniversary.  
  
Happy Anniversary, she replied softly.  
  
There was a knock at the door and they both jumped.  
  
Will wondered aloud as he walked to the door. He opened it as Sydney came up behind him and leaned her head on his shoulder.  
  
Michael was waiting on the other side. He frowned and handed Sydney her keys. You didn't come back so I took the liberty of driving your car over here.  
  
Oh, well, thanks, Sydney said with a false smile of gratitude.  
  
So what happened? Michael asked suddenly.  
  
Will cleared his throat and Sydney discretely pinched the back of his neck.  
  
she gestured with her hand for Michael to explain.  
  
he stated simply.  
  
Us'? What us'? There is no she said, getting frustrated.  
  
Whoa, wait a minute, Michael burst out. At the apartment, you said—  
  
Look, I don't care what I said, Sydney interrupted. The only reason I said anything about a relationship was because I was trying to get you off my back. You were moving things along way too fast for my tastes. I mean, I had barely had a chance to think about getting back together with Will, then you swoop in and lay this relationship crap on me. You and I are not in the same place romantically and we never will be.  
  
Michael scoffed and shook his head.  
  
Sydney cleared her throat and held up her left hand, moving her finger to and fro so Michael could get a glimpse of the ring. I never intended for us to be more than friends.  
  
Michael said, after a long silence, can we at least _stay_ friends? I mean, I was an idiot, so...let's just forget this. Start over.  
  
All right, Sydney said, stretching out her hand.  
  
Michael shook it. He nodded and turned around to walk down the driveway. Will shut the door and he and Sydney grinned at each other.  
  
We should watch a movie, Will suggested, offering Sydney his arm.  
  
What movie? Sydney asked, linking her arm with Will's.  
  
_Runaway Bride_, he replied with a laugh.  
  
Sydney punched him playfully in the arm. You don't have to worry, she said, kissing him. I don't plan on leaving you for anyone else. She kissed him again.  
  
That's a relief, he replied with a smile, as he returned the kiss. Sydney giggled.  
  
You know, Will started, I _was_ serious about watching it... He grinned and tried to keep a straight face.  
  
Sydney cooed. Now seriously...  
  
All right, all right, Will said with a laugh. He tickled her stomach and she laughed as they both plopped down on the floor in front of the video cabinet.  
  
  
_But mama said you can't hurry love  
No, you'll just have to wait  
She said love don't come easy  
It's a game of give and take  
I can't hurry love, no, you'll just have to wait  
Just trust, give it time  
No matter how long it takes_  
  
  
  


FIN  


  
  
**  
  
Note:** The song is the Dixie Chicks' You Can't Hurry Love, as heard at the end of the terrific _Runaway Bride_. 


End file.
